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Received from: Elaine
{ Readers' Rating: 27.03% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
Lionel is getting quite bald and his elder daughter's wedding is
coming up. All his friends and family would be there, and, well,
even men can be vain. He gets fitted with an expensive toupee.
On the wedding day, everything went well. Nevertheless, Lionel
thought that everyone must have seen his toupee. Next day, his
youngest daughter sees his worried look and says, "What's the
matter, Daddy? Why are you so sad?"
"I'm not really sad, darling," he replies, "it's just that I'm
sure everyone yesterday saw that I was wearing a wig."
"No they didn't, Daddy," she says, "No one I told knew."
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Received from: cutie pa2ti
{ Readers' Rating: 25.68% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
A man and his four-year-old son were watching a professional
football game on TV. After a bad play, the father exploded:
"Just look at that stupid halfback! He fumbles three times,
and every time the other team recovers! Why do they let someone
like that play in the game?"
The little boy thought it over. "Daddy," he said, "maybe
it's his ball."
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Received from: Danny
{ Readers' Rating: 25.68% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
An elderly doctor visited a woman patient at her home. "Could
you fetch me a hammer from the garage?" he asked the woman's
husband.
The husband fetched the hammer.
"Right" said the old doctor a couple of minutes later. "Now I'd
like you to get me some pliers, a screwdriver and a hackaw."
The husband became alarmed at the last request and asked
anxiously: "Just exactly what are you going to do to my wife?"
The old doctor replied: "Nothing until I can get my medical bag
open."
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Received from: Betsy
{ Readers' Rating: 21.62% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
An accountant read a nursery rhyme to his young child.
Afterwards he said: "No son, when Little Bo Peep lost her sheep,
that wouldn't be tax deductible. But I like your thinking."
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Received from: TheWhiteRabbit
{ Readers' Rating: 4.05% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
Phil & Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One
day a shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut
across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and
wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to
the other side. "Look at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy
is trying to pull the wool over our ice!"
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Received from: Rani Andrew
{ Readers' Rating: -9.46% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
"Are we gonna donate babies?"
About the youth group adopting an orphan for $30 per month.
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Received from: cutie pa2ti
{ Readers' Rating: -16.22% }
{ Total votes: 37 }
KENNY: I know a football player that is so tough.
PATTI: How tough is he?
KENNY: 1st: He's so tough, he parts his hair with a chain saw.
2nd: He's so tough, he uses barded wire for dental floss,
3rd: He's so tough, he gargles with Drano.
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