 legal attorney help
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Received from: Dupoh8
Skeleton In The Closet
A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to
make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other
buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor
by floor.
While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a
skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They
decided that they should call the police.
When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and
showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They
said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."
Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it
any more; they had to know who they had found. They called the
police and said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in
the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody
important."
The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind
of important."
"Well, who was it?"
"The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."
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Received from: duhpo8
Hard Working?
A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and
see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and
sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing.
The owner walks up to the young man and says, "Son, how much do
you make a day?"
The guy replies, "150 dollars."
The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to
get out and never come back.
A few minutes later the shipping clerk says to the boss, "Have
you seen that UPS driver? I left him standing around here?"
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Received from: duhpo8
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered
her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to
him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would
meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man
consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346
feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north
latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I
am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the
balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I
have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still
lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I
am,"replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the
man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've
risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You
made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect
me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you
were in before we met but, somehow, now it's my fault."
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Received from: Lorraine
July of 2007 heavily-armed troops parachuted into a Colorado
prison, but they were not staging a daring rescue...they had
simply landed off target. Military officials said the 25 Special
Operations Command forces were on a training mission. Their
target was Fremont County Airport but they ended up in a field on
the grounds of Fremont Correctional Facility instead.
Thankfully, armed prison guards were able to identify the
incomers as soldiers and held their fire, but the Defense
Department refused to say exactly who they were. 'We don't know
who they were and I'm not sure we'll ever know who they were,'
said the Colorado Department of Corrections. 'Everyone acted
appropriately.'
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Received from: Lorraine
The Doctor told Bill that he should start a fitness program.
Bill, not wanting to harm his old, rather corpulent, body,
decided to put the following regimen into practice:
A) Beat around the bush several times
B) Jump to conclusions all the time
C) Climb the walls
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