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May 15, New Joke Submissions: May 15 Links:

Received from: Betsy

Our three-year-old granddaughter, Terry, our only grandchild, experiences less discipline and more indulgence when visiting us than she does when at home. The evening after a recent sleepover at our place, our daughter was putting her to bed. But instead of settling down after her regular three bedtime stories, Terry started pleading: "Please, please, please, just one more."

"No, Terry," her mother told her. "You know the rules; three stories, then it's time to sleep. And begging for more doesn't work with Mommy; it only works with Grandpa."

"No Mommy," Terry said, "It works with Grandma, too."

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Received from: Lorraine

While preparing for his role in "Pride and Glory" (in 2002), Mark Wahlberg bulked up by waking every morning at 2 a.m. to wolf down several burgers and returning to bed. Needless to say, Wahlberg was rather peeved when he discovered that the project had been cancelled...and that he would have to lose about 70 pounds for his next role, as Charlie Croker, in F. Gary Gray's "The Italian Job".

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Received from: Lorraine

According to Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: "Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin planted more than just an American flag on the moon. The lunar module had no overboard dump valve... Armstrong and Aldrin had to leave behind everything they could to lighten the lunar module for its blast-off from the moon - including the bags."

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Received from: Rani Andrew

The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them.

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Received from: Gerry

The best way to make a thousand dollars in the stock market is to begin with five thousand dollars and sell everything after you lose the first four.

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Received from: Ken

Men wait for women more often than women wait for men, showing what's worth waiting for.

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