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Received from: cutie pa2ti
Father: I'm dying.
Son: Yes, Dad.
Father: Somehow I never expected this to happen to me.
Son: I know, Dad.
Father: I'm not ready to go.
Son: Where do you want to be buried, Dad?
Father: Surprise me.
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Received from: Lorraine
I regularly do my exercises first thing in the morning.
Immediately after waking, I sternly say to myself, "Ready, now.
Up. Down. Up. Down."
And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, "Okay, now try the
other eyelid."
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Received from: cutie pa2ti
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father,
I'm eighty years old, married, have four kids and eleven
grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to
two eighteen-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice."
And the priest says, "Well, my son, when was the last time
you were at confession?"
"Never, Father, I'm Jewish."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"I'm tellin' everybody!"
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